Show not tell: In the morning

Place: Bedroom

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!, As I woke up my alarm clock started beeping I tried to turn it off by hitting the button about 5 or 6 times on the 7th time it finally turned off. I stood out of bed and squish! I stood on my sandwich that I had from yesterday for lunch. I looked up in the mirror and wiped my eyes and I turned around and suddenly I saw a whole pile of clothes on my desk and my stinky socks from 2 days ago hanging on my door handle. I heard mum in the kitchen making breakfast for me and my 2 brothers before we go to school. We had Wet Basket with Milk and toast with butter. 

Mikaiah and Brodies Show Not Tell

Emily overheard Laura on the phone saying that they were going to the mall. Emily, ran into Lauras room saying “can I come can I come” Laura said  “NO you're too young you don’t know what you’re doing. Then suddenly Emily went storming out swearing at her and slammed the door on Laura's face. She locked herself in her room the started punching holes in the wall kicking things around and then left, to calm down.

Emily felt nervous about asking to go to the mall. Emilys heart was pounding as she went in to Laura room her legs started wobbling as she was so nervous she felt like she was gonna pee her pants and when Emily asked to go to the mall with Laura she said “sure i'll take you out for the day”